Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Trending via Discord:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Just shared via Instagram:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Going viral on X:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Going bananas on Reddit:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Spotted on Messenger:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

5 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just call me the world's sneakiest skating rink manager! 😄⛸️❄️

humor, i, ice, joke, let, mention, never, people, prank, sarcasm, skate, skating, thin, thin ice, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

3 months ago

appear, bubble, expression, grateful, gratitude, heads, humor, inner, inner thought, mind, over, sometimes, thought, thoughts
One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

2 months ago

aging, birth, birth date, date, forms, getting, getting older, halfway, having, humor, i, nap, noticed, observation, older, online, online forms, scrolling, short, stop, technology, thing, year
Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

5 months ago

confidence, fact, genius, humor, let, presence, sarcasm, seriousness, wit
The only joke my mom ever made was me.

3 months ago

ever, family, humor, joke, me, mom, parenting, self-deprecation, wit
I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

2 months ago

awkwardness, exercise, fitness, hand, hand awkwardness, hands, humor, i, indecision, jogging, never, running, sure
That looks like a problem for someone else.

6 months ago

else, humor, looks, problem, procrastination, responsibility, sarcasm, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

18 shares on Threads this month:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

44 shares on Discord this month:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Seen just now on Threads:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Breaking via Facebook:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Making waves on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Making waves on Facebook:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Making waves on Messenger:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Trending via Messenger:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Just landed via Telegram:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Trending via YouTube:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨