Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Trending via Instagram:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Just landed via Reddit:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Going viral on WeChat:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Live now on Telegram:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dancing along happily in blissful ignorance 🎵🤷‍♂️🎶

communication, entertainment, foreign, foreign language, humor, i, just, know, language, languages, listening, misunderstanding, music, sometimes, speak, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

0

2 months ago

activity, cleaning, ever, every, humor, meditative, mindfulness, perfect, person, plan, planning, reflect, revenge, single, something, time, wronged
Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

0

5 months ago

actually, cooking, food, fried, frying, good, humor, pretty, taste, vegetable, vegetables
No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, comedy, decisions, drinking, humor, i, influence, influencers, lifestyle, making, media, old fashioned, social, social media, thanks, under
I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

0

2 months ago

call, ever, humor, i, irony, purpose, quality, recorded, recorded call, training, used, wonder
April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, April, April Fool, asked, event, fool, friendship, humor, joke, me, next, prank, social, still, week
I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

0

2 months ago

boss, humor, i, me, person, productivity, self, should, transformation, work, working, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Making waves on Messenger:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Trending via Twitch:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Shared recently on X:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Spotted on Discord:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Seen just now on Slack:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Spotted on Snapchat:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨