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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,309

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Spotted on TikTok:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Just landed via X:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Just shared via X:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Just shared via Threads:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Broadcasted on Discord:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Seen just now on Threads:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Just shared via TikTok:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Your honor, I'm not sure who pulled me over… me or the wind! 🌬️⚡️😂"

adrenaline, am, excitement, feeling, freedom, heavy, heavy metal, honor, i, know, lightning, metal, music, nature, racing, smoke, thrill, thunder, under, wind

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

0

1 month ago

carpe, Carpe Diem, diem, humor, irony, know, Latin, Latin phrase, life, life motto, means, motto, people, phrase, sarcasm, slang, stupid, stupidity, yolo
Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

0

2 months ago

financial, getting, home, humor, me, money, mortgage, paid, responsibility, staying, staying in, worth
The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

0

2 months ago

abbreviation, humor, irony, language, length, meaning, means, word
I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

0

4 months ago

bed, body, getting, getting out of bed, handle, humor, laziness, morning, morning struggle, much, nonsense, struggle, sure, tired
Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

0

2 months ago

always, benefit, brain, brains, brainwashing, horrible, terrible, wash
90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

0

2 months ago

90, cravings, eat, food, humor, hunger, i, start, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Instagram this month:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

31 shares on X this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

54 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Going viral on YouTube:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Going bananas on Telegram:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Shared recently on Instagram:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨