Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,950

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Making waves on X:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Spotted on X:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Trending via Instagram:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Trending via Instagram:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Seen just now on Discord:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Shared recently on X:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Going viral on Messenger:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the only thing that drops lower than Black Friday prices is my self-control 😂🛒🛍️

before, black, Black Friday, consumer, deal, deals, discount, Friday, humor, i, item, just, love, price, sale, shopping, tariff, tariffs, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

0

1 month ago

alone, Friday, frustration, humor, i, independence, introvert, leave, me, please, ran, small, small talk, solitude, talk, Tuesday
My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

0

2 months ago

birthday, co-worker, coworkers, found, humor, i, job, need, new, new job, work, workplace
Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

0

2 months ago

chore, daughter, dishwasher, empty, family, humor, just, parenting, please, pray, prayer, tired, yesterday
Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

0

2 months ago

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, introvert, me, people, personal, personal space, sarcasm, should, social, social interaction, space, zone
I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

0

1 month ago

done, humor, i, inform, love, math, regret, relationship, soulmate
Relationship status: he escaped.

0

1 month ago

break up, dating, escape, humor, love, relationship, single, status

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

37 shares on Threads this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

44 shares on X this month:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

98 shares on X this month:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Just landed via Twitch:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Making waves on Slack:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Just shared via Snapchat:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Trending via Facebook:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Seen just now on Instagram:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Trending via TikTok:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Breaking via Reddit:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Relationship status: he escaped.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨