Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,899

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Just landed via Slack:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Going viral on X:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Breaking via Twitch:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Live now on Slack:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Live now on Telegram:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Just shared via Slack:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the only thing that drops lower than Black Friday prices is my self-control 😂🛒🛍️

before, black, Black Friday, consumer, deal, deals, discount, Friday, humor, i, item, just, love, price, sale, shopping, tariff, tariffs, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

0

1 month ago

being, comedy, exhausted, exhaustion, family, fatigue, favorite, humor, live, losing, parenting, struggle, time, will to live
The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

0

1 month ago

alarm, annoyance, best, daily, daily routine, family, humor, living, living situation, parent, parents, routine, situation, sleep, thing, waking, waking up
Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

0

2 months ago

charcuterie, confusion, having, humor, language, pronounce, pronunciation, stroke, trying, words
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

0

2 months ago

humor, insight, missing, misunderstanding, perception, relationship, women
This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, bring, celebration, family, holiday, humor, i, last, shame, Thanksgiving, tradition, year
God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

0

2 months ago

all-forgetting, all-knowing, forgetfulness, God, humor, ID, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Discord this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

38 shares on Discord this month:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

45 shares on Slack this month:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Trending via Snapchat:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Trending via Pinterest:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Just landed via Reddit:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Going viral on YouTube:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Going viral on Slack:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨