I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once. Posted on3 months ago3 months ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image FacebookXPinterestRedditLinkedInEmailWhatsAppCommentary:The suspense is real—my metabolism thinks it's on a rollercoaster of carbs and confusions! 🎢🍕🍩🤔 Related Funny Posts 🤝 During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting. I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single. To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation. Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart. Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s. Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good. December calories don’t count. That’s the law.