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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has shared:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has shared:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has copied:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on YouTube:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Going viral on Threads:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, β€œI don’t even have a coconut!”

Live now on X:

The adult version of β€œhead, shoulders, knees and toes” is β€œwallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Going viral on Telegram:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Making waves on X:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.
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Commentary:
When your cat's meow turns into a TED Talk 😸🎀✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has copied:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has shared:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has downloaded:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Threads:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Going viral on X:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Spotted on Threads:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Going viral on Reddit:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Making waves on YouTube:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Reported on Slack:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Trending via Instagram:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

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