Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Going viral on TikTok:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Just shared via Messenger:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Making waves on Reddit:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about chatty cats and their amusing meows, full of humorous feline attitude.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your cat's meow turns into a TED Talk 😸🎤✨

animal, bro, cat, cats, conversation, humor, i, love, meow, pet, playful, right, talkative

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

6 days ago

communication, confession, date, ever, every, honesty, humor, idea, love, me, relationship, tell, thought
My parents think they know me.

3 weeks ago

family, humor, identity, know, me, parents, perception, think
Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

3 weeks ago

being, crazy, depressed, depression, effect, fat, gain, health, help, humor, just, medication, mental, mental health, oh, pill, psychiatry, side, side effect, weight, weight gain
How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

3 weeks ago

before, cake, dessert, door, expectation, food, fridge, humor, inside, open, patience, times, waiting
Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

3 weeks ago

architect, experience, gap, hell, humor, i, oh, own, resume, self-deprecation, work, work experience
People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

4 weeks ago

air, air fryer, appliance, cooking, food, fry, fryer, humor, kitchen, kitchen appliance, love, people, tell

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Twitch this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

94 shares on Messenger this month:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

26 shares on X this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Spotted on WeChat:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Spotted on Instagram:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Going bananas on Threads:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Just shared via YouTube:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Making waves on Threads:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

My parents think they know me.

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨