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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,926

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Going viral on Slack:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Making waves on Reddit:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Trending via Messenger:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Just landed via Facebook:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Seen just now on X:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your cat's meow turns into a TED Talk 😸🎤✨

animal, bro, cat, cats, conversation, humor, i, love, meow, pet, playful, right, talkative

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

0

2 months ago

dance, drinking, home, humor, me, music, nightlife, party, playing, push, song, take
Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

0

3 months ago

activity, alive, anxiety, embarrassing, embarrassment, everyone, humor, life, social, social anxiety, survival, swimming, want
I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, backyard, carrying, chainsaw, funny activity, guessing, humor, i, joke, keep, ladder, relationship, surprise, walking, wife
I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, being, deny, dumb, embarrassing, front, here, humor, i, intergalactic, planet, travelers
I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, challenges, comedy, daily, daily struggle, else, going, humor, i, just, life, life challenges, next, overwhelm, relatability, something, stress, struggle, through
Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, around, conversation, etiquette, everyone, hate, noise, people, public, speakerphone, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

79 shares on X this month:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Trending via Threads:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Seen just now on Discord:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Shared recently on Reddit:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Trending via Telegram:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨