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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Making waves on X:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Breaking via Telegram:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Making waves on Slack:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Shared recently on Slack:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Going viral on Twitch:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Going viral on Discord:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

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I love when people find out I meant every word I said.
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Commentary:
Oops! Looks like my mouth finally got GPS – it's taking me places! 😅🗺️🗣️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,327

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Just landed via Twitch:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Just shared via Facebook:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Live now on Slack:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Trending via Twitch:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

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