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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,015

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Going viral on Telegram:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Trending via Reddit:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Live now on Facebook:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Oops! Looks like my mouth finally got GPS – it's taking me places! 😅🗺️🗣️

attitude, communication, every, honesty, humor, i, love, meant, people, said, sarcasm, statement, truth, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

1 month ago
adult, adult life, adulting, humor, ID, joke, life, life joke, policy, responsibility, return, return policy, sarcasm
Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

4 months ago
behavior, cat, cats, domination, fact, humor, lap, pet, pet behavior, sit
“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

1 month ago
exhaustion, humor, long week, me, relatable, sarcasm, Tuesday, week, weekday
I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

1 month ago
found, God, hide, humor, irony, spirituality, turn
Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

1 month ago
comedy, date, humor, i, know, maybe, relationship, rom-com, script, start, writing
I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

1 month ago
age, communication, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, someone, talker, where

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Going viral on Slack:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Spotted on Instagram:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

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I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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