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Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Just shared via Facebook:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Making waves on Threads:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
At least my feet have standards, even if my life decisions don’t 👞😂

bad, bad choice, choice, choices, croc, Crocs, footwear, humor, i, life, never, pair

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

1 month ago
actually, cigarette, craving, God, habit, humor, i, irony, myself, need, smoke, someone, think, thinking, too
I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

1 month ago
age, appearance, eyesight, face, feet, hold, humor, i, just, know, menus, okay, pretty, reality, ruse, self-deprecation, think
I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

1 month ago
age, change, cool, hear, here, humor, i, loud, myself, say, self-awareness, things, think, used
I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

1 month ago
date, desire, girlfriend, guy, guys, i, love, relationship, romantic, romantic desire
IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

1 month ago
assembly, DIY, frustration, furniture, glossary, humor, IKEA, instructions, swear, swear word, Swedish, word, words
My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

1 month ago
acting, clips, humor, listening, me, meetings, online, reel, video, work, Zoom

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Trending via TikTok:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Trending via Twitch:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

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Activity Log ✨

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

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I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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