Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Just landed via YouTube:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Making waves on Discord:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Just landed via Messenger:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Seen just now on Threads:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Making waves on YouTube:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Trending via Reddit:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

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Commentary:
Sounds like a pajama fashion show on the couch runway! 🎉🛋️👕

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

62 shares on Slack this month:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

13 shares on Reddit this month:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Just landed via Messenger:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Breaking via YouTube:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Just landed via TikTok:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Spotted on WeChat:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Trending via TikTok:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Making waves on WeChat:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Live now on Twitch:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

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