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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has shared:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has copied:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has shared:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has shared:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, β€œI don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has shared:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via TikTok:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Trending via Instagram:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Breaking via TikTok:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Just landed via Messenger:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Making waves on X:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Going viral on Twitch:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

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I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.
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Commentary:
Sounds like a pajama fashion show on the couch runway! πŸŽ‰πŸ›‹οΈπŸ‘•

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Slack this month:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because β€œit’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, β€œWait till you’re 50.”

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Born to say β€œWho the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like β€œhey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,665

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, β€œno way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has shared:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has viewed:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has downloaded:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has viewed:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has viewed:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Discord:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Spotted on YouTube:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Shared recently on Slack:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Trending via Twitch:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Spotted on Threads:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Trending via Snapchat:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

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