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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Making waves on Reddit:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Making waves on Twitch:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Trending via Pinterest:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Trending via Reddit:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about choosing cozy attire for New Year’s Eve on the couch.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a pajama fashion show on the couch runway! 🎉🛋️👕

casualwear, couch, dilemma, eve, fashion, fashion dilemma, figure, going, holiday, humor, i, need, new, New Year’s Eve, outfit, procrastination, relaxation, wear, year’s

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Broadcasted on X:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Just shared via Discord:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Shared recently on X:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Going viral on TikTok:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Just landed via Slack:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Spotted on Reddit:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨