I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

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Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

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A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

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There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

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You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

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Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

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Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

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I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

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There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

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I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

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I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.