Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Making waves on Threads:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Freshly posted on X:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Just landed via Messenger:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Imagine the savings on grocery bills… and napkins! 🐍🍽️ #SnakeLife

able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

0

2 months ago

age, change, digital, digital age, Facebook, farmland, i, long time, media, memory, nostalgia, remember, social, social media, time, used
An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

0

2 months ago

activity, app, building, date, fun, fun activity, left, match, negotiation, no talking, partner, restaurants, right, swipe, talking, where
Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

0

2 months ago

assumption, boring, humor, i, just, life, people, together, unfair
You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

0

2 months ago

always, both, kids, know, scissors, where
“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

0

5 months ago

access, finance, good, house, humor, i, internet, joke, leave, money, online, online shopping, personal, personal finance, pretty, self-control, shopping, spending
They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

0

2 months ago

anything, good, humor, invent, invention, job, motivated, motivation, need, people, skills, social

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

83 shares on X this month:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

52 shares on X this month:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Going viral on Discord:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Making waves on Twitch:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Going viral on Threads:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Just shared via WeChat:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Just shared via YouTube:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Trending via Messenger:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨