Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Trending via Slack:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Just shared via Threads:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Trending via Facebook:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

4 weeks ago

Clever, humorous text about self-employment and self-management.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm still waiting for that raise from my inner HR department! 😂💼💸

being, boss, humor, i, independence, lot, me, motivation, paid, salary, self employment, should, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Discord this month:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

30 shares on WeChat this month:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Trending via Threads:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Live now on Threads:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Spotted on TikTok:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Shared recently on X:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Trending via Telegram:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Going viral on Messenger:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Seen just now on X:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨