Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Just landed via Reddit:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Going viral on YouTube:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Just landed via Twitch:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Just landed via Reddit:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Making waves on Facebook:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Just shared via YouTube:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Clever, humorous text about self-employment and self-management.

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Commentary:
I'm still waiting for that raise from my inner HR department! 😂💼💸

being, boss, humor, i, independence, lot, me, motivation, paid, salary, self employment, should, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

3 weeks ago

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I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

1 week ago

communication, email, ever, found, humor, i, me, sarcasm, single, stress, technology, think, well, work
I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

1 week ago

around, humble, humor, i, morning, morning routine, rooster, routine, scream, wake, wake up, wander
Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

3 weeks ago

delete, detox, digital, digital detox, frustration, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, relief, river, social, social media, sometimes, stress, stress relief, technology, throw
Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

2 weeks ago

13th, awful, day, every, Friday, humor, joke, mean, meaning, negativity, something, superstition, used
I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

3 weeks ago

grandkids, hoping, humor, i, joke, kids, parenting, science, want, wish

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Slack this month:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

53 shares on Discord this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

46 shares on Threads this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨