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Well, timing is everything with Kanye – it's like catching a shooting star 🌠 in a bottle of Yeezy magic ✨. Just make sure you're in sync with his vibe du jour, and you might just hit the jackpot 💰. Just don't ask during a Taylor Swift rant 😉.

ask, give, hell, humor, i, Kanye, million, money, right, think, time, timing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

1 month ago
clothing, embarrassment, hole, knows, nobody, place, public, public place, secret, sock, station, train, train station
My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

1 month ago
activity, aspiration, beat, buy, competition, dream, fun, horse, humor, me, race, still
I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

1 month ago
bad, bad luck, coincidence, funny remark, happening, humor, i, inside, luck, questioning, remark, superstition, umbrella, wonder
We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

2 months ago
absurdity, acceptance, humor, inside, just, living, meat, mouth, normal, tentacle
I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

1 month ago
clothes, describe, fashion, floor, humor, i, mess, personal, pile, style, top, whatever
ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

4 months ago
ability, absolutely, ADHD, anything, being, good, humor, irony, life, live, necessity, need, pretty, skill, struggle, talent, terrible, want

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Trending via Facebook:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Just shared via Reddit:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Trending via Messenger:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Live now on Messenger:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

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I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

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I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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