Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Going viral on TikTok:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Trending via Pinterest:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Trending via Snapchat:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Agreed! Let’s just skip straight to Friday! 😴➡️🍹 #WeekendGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

0

4 months ago

bag, basket, bird, birds, bite, bite hand, box, bridge, bridges, burn, burn bridge, cat, egg, eggs, feeds, fire, hand, ice, idiom, inside, kill, let, list, me, play, put, stone, thin, think, to-do, to-do list, walk
Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

0

2 months ago

bro, case, drop, form, funny observation, humor, jealousy, mouth, observation, relationship, stair, staircase, tongue, wife
When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

0

2 months ago

fighting, hockey, i, last, Oreo, over, pretend, watch
He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

0

2 months ago

cockroach, compliment, everything, humor, i, key, low, low key, me, resilience, sarcasm, second, self-reflection, thought
Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

0

2 months ago

breaking, comedy, comparison, door, film, film reference, horror, humor, jack, Jack Nicholson, looks, Monday, morning, nicholson, reference, shining, The Shining
I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, evil, fun, giggling, humor, i, just, laughter, party, slutty, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Discord this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

97 shares on WeChat this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

55 shares on X this month:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Trending via Discord:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Just shared via Reddit:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨