Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Broadcasted on X:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Just shared via Messenger:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Going viral on Reddit:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Going viral on YouTube:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Trying to convince kids that crypto isn't just grown-up Monopoly money: mission impossible 🎩🪙🤹‍♂️

child, crypto, explaining, explanation, friend, humor, i, imaginary, imaginary friend, misunderstanding, nine-year-old, said, sell, selling, someone, sounds, tried, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

1 month ago
advice, avoid, avoid calls, bill, bill collector, calls, collector, funny advice, humor, phone, phone bill
Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

4 months ago
away, boyfriend, chase, child, dating, flirting, humor, i, men, rejection, relationship, started, telling
It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

1 month ago
assume, assumption, boss, employee, employees, humor, insane, job, motivation, office, paycheck, reason, truly, work, working
Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

1 month ago
advice, afraid, ask, ask questions, best, candidate, communication, find out, good, good candidate, humor, interview, job, job interview, person, questions, workplace
Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

1 month ago
breakfast, cream, debate, egg, food, food debate, humor, ice, ice cream, logic
I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

4 months ago
am, authenticity, bullshit, hate, honesty, humor, i, just, love, me, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-awareness, someone, through, trust, want

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Spotted on X:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Freshly posted on X:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Just shared via Facebook:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

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Activity Log ✨

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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