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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Freshly posted on X:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Live now on Telegram:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Just landed via Twitch:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
He might be hot enough to melt ice, but he definitely needs a GPS to find the punchline 😂🔥

attraction, boyfriend, Funny, hot, humor, i, know, stranger, strangers, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

0

2 weeks ago

actually, app, Duolingo, education, everything, except, humor, language, language app, language learning, learning, teach
There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

0

2 months ago

done, enough, humor, i, movie, movie night, night, not enough, popcorn, quantity, regret, snack
Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

0

2 months ago

comedy, dark, dark comedy, enough, foodie, hannibal, Hannibal Lecter, humor, killer, lecter, scary, serial, serial killer
Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

0

2 months ago

advice, comparison, environment, grass, greener, humor, maybe, mess, over, perspective
When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

0

2 months ago

comfort, expression, foam, forget, frustration, humor, memory, memory foam, never, pillow, scream, sleep
A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

0

2 months ago

app, dating, dating app, humor, interaction, introvert, mumble, people, relationships, shy, social, social interaction, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

15 shares on Slack this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

79 shares on Discord this month:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Going bananas on Discord:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Going viral on TikTok:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Trending via TikTok:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m sick of living through history!

Shared recently on Discord:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨