Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Finding someone who cares for you like Netflix cares about unauthorized account access is the real goal in life. 🕵️‍♂️🔒 Let's hope for a love that's just as vigilant and committed to our well-being! ❤️📺 #RelationshipGoals"

account, another, attention, care, device, humor, i, love, me, much, Netflix, relationship, someone, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

2 months ago
creativity, humor, inspiration, lazy, me, motivation, procrastination, time, waiting
I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

1 month ago
conservation, dicaprio, environment, future, future generation, generation, generations, girlfriend, humor, i, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, relationship, save, trying
If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

1 month ago
calm, calm down, complain, driving, hood, humor, least, road, safety, sarcasm, want
My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

1 month ago
activity, both, friend, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, i, joke, laugh, marathon, running, said
You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

1 month ago
40, adulthood, age, change, clean, cleaning, drunk, house, humor, know, life, life change, music, nostalgia, over, over 40, used
Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

1 month ago
calory, chocolate, diet, election, humor, i, me, politics, promise, vote

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Trending via Snapchat:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Shared recently on Telegram:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Trending via YouTube:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Live now on Snapchat:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏