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Home Funny Quotes I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

New Funny Quotes ✨

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

36 minutes ago

“Your a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

37 minutes ago

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

38 minutes ago

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

38 minutes ago

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

42 minutes ago

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

42 minutes ago

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

42 minutes ago

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

44 minutes ago

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

44 minutes ago

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

45 minutes ago

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

45 minutes ago

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

46 minutes ago

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

47 minutes ago

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

48 minutes ago

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

49 minutes ago