Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Just shared via Messenger:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about craving more entertainment and relaxation, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Balancing my hobbies like a pro: today I watched a movie about a book that was about nothing 📚🎬😅

book, books, film, films, humor, i, leisure, management, multitasking, nothing, procrastination, read, relaxation, time, time management, want, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

44 shares on X this month:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Breaking via Instagram:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Trending via Discord:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Spotted on Threads:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Trending via TikTok:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Spotted on Slack:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Just shared via Twitch:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Just shared via YouTube:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨