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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,787

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Trending via Messenger:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Going viral on Discord:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Going viral on Discord:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Spotted on YouTube:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Just landed via WeChat:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Balancing my hobbies like a pro: today I watched a movie about a book that was about nothing 📚🎬😅

book, books, film, films, humor, i, leisure, management, multitasking, nothing, procrastination, read, relaxation, time, time management, want, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty routine, ever, fast, humor, i, joke, legs, life, loss, lost, routine, shave, today, weight
I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, joke, life, naturally, whole
When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

0

2 months ago

clean, cleaning, humor, left, only, room, self-deprecation, trash, well
A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

0

2 months ago

coming, dating, girl, humor, miscommunication, over, relationship, surprise
Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

0

5 months ago

communication, culture, form, humor, information, internet, internet culture, meme, memes, most
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, health, humanity, introspection, loneliness, mental, mental health, problem, problems, room, self-awareness, silence, sit, solitude

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Slack this month:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Trending via Facebook:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Trending via Facebook:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Trending via TikTok:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨