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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Making waves on TikTok:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Live now on YouTube:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Just shared via Instagram:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Just shared via Discord:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Going viral on Threads:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Making waves on Slack:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about resisting temptation and maintaining dignity in texting.

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Commentary:
Trying to balance texting them and maintaining my dignity like a cat walking on a tightrope 😂📱🎪

anxiety, communication, hesitation, humor, i, need, person, self-respect, shame, social, social anxiety, text, texting, want

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

36 shares on Discord this month:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

71 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

52 shares on Threads this month:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Trending via TikTok:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Making waves on YouTube:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨