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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,035

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Going viral on TikTok:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Strict parents raise good liars.

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Priorities: Ice cream 1, Charger 0! 🍦🔌😅"

back, bowl, came, charger, cream, distraction, downstairs, funny mishap, humor, i, ice, ice cream, mishap, procrastination, result, snack, unexpected, unexpected result

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

1 month ago
frustration, humor, new, people, show, start, sucks
I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

1 month ago
confidence, full, humor, i, mirror, mirrors, motivation, need, room, self, self-confidence, surrounded, want, winner
The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

1 month ago
adventure, crazy, crazy side, embrace, fun, humor, joy, life, personality, side
Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

5 hours ago
achievement, ago, amount, brag, bragging, cooking, five, humor, i, measurement, memory, once, pasta, right, time
Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

1 month ago
cooking, entertainment, expectations, food, humor, length, limited, limited sery, Netflix, Pinterest, recipe, series, sery
Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

1 month ago
everyday, hell, humor, i, ID, Satan, tell, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Live now on Snapchat:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Making waves on Messenger:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

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Activity Log ✨

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

I hope this email finds you in a well.

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

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I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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