Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Freshly posted on X:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Spotted on Discord:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Just landed via TikTok:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Just landed via TikTok:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Seen just now on TikTok:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Going bananas on Discord:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Someone's ready to launch their 'Trinket Holding Co.' 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂"

am, everyone, forever, greedy, humor, i, keep, longing, love, obsession, possessiveness, sarcasm, selfish, sentimentality, turn, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

0

1 month ago

before, chaos, confusion, duck, even, ever, gone, humor, metaphor, organization, originality, places, row
Later is the best time to do anything.

0

2 months ago

best, best time, humor, later, management, procrastination, time, time management
As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

0

2 weeks ago

dating, Funny, girlfriend, having, humor, irony, relationship, sounds, woman, women
Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

0

2 months ago

activity, being, favorite, full, humor, introvert, loud, people, quiet, room, social, sport
The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

0

2 months ago

date, done, honesty, humor, punctuality, relationship, thing, turn
For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

0

2 months ago

activity, celebrate, curb, day, driving, every, going, hitting, humor, i, international, International Women’s Day, joke, women’s

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

96 shares on Discord this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

56 shares on Slack this month:

I am thick and tired.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

23 shares on Discord this month:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Shared recently on Threads:

Aura is the real business card.

Just shared via Instagram:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Just landed via Messenger:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Later is the best time to do anything.

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨