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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Making waves on TikTok:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Spotted on Discord:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Making waves on Twitch:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Going viral on Telegram:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Someone's ready to launch their 'Trinket Holding Co.' 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂"

am, everyone, forever, greedy, humor, i, keep, longing, love, obsession, possessiveness, sarcasm, selfish, sentimentality, turn, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

1 month ago
call, creativity, crime, direct, FBI, give, Googling, heads, humor, joke, just, line, poison, research, safety, should, someone, story, writers
I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

1 month ago
actually, analogy, competitive, competitive humor, fast, fast walking, humor, i, losing, note, observation, people, playful, playful sarcasm, race, race analogy, sarcasm, social, social observation, speed, walk, walker, walking, walking speed
Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

1 month ago
activity, carbs, day, effort, exertion, fitness, humor, i, laziness, load, minutes, much, myself, Olympic, quit, rest, sprinter
“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

1 month ago
control, humor, impulse, just, password, security, self-control, too, wait, weakness
My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

1 month ago
account, actually, fake, humor, identity, joke, officer, probation, probation officer, relationship, surprise
I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

1 month ago
age, i, place, sit, somewhere, thing, where

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Just landed via Messenger:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Just landed via Slack:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Breaking via Telegram:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Going viral on Snapchat:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A Monday every week is excessive.

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

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I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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