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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Breaking via X:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Shared recently on Threads:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Just shared via Threads:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.
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Commentary:
"Oh, wouldn't that be the dream? 💁‍♂️ 'I don't care, gotta go water my houseplants 🌿' 🚶‍♂️ It'd spice up those dull conversations for sure! 😂 #SociallyAwkwardGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Seen just now on Threads:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Spotted on TikTok:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Seen just now on Discord:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Spotted on Slack:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Reported on Instagram:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Reported on Twitch:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

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