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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

43 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Seen just now on X:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Spotted on Telegram:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Just shared via Threads:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Trending via Instagram:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

3 months ago

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal quest for crucial life data! 📊🥜🍞 Just imagine having a dedicated stats screen for essential metrics like toastiness levels of English Muffins or the precise ratio of peanut butter to muffin! 🤔📈 If only there was a dashboard that could quantify our culinary adventures in such delicious detail! 🥪🤓 #SnackStatsGoals

butter, care, counting, data, eaten, English, English muffin, food, humor, i, life, muffin, peanut, peanut butter, personal, personal data, screen, stats, things, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

43 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Just shared via Twitch:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Reported on WhatsApp:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Making waves on Telegram:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Going viral on X:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Trending via WeChat:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

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