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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Making waves on Reddit:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Trending via Snapchat:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Going viral on Reddit:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Trending via Discord:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Just shared via TikTok:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote imagining concern for Taylor Swift's well-being today.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Probably writing another hit about how she needs to call her BFF… and yes, that’s you! 😂🎶 #SwiftSquad"

admiration, beloved, celebrity, celebrity fan, close, connection, doing, fan, friend, humor, i, personal, personal connection, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

46 shares on Threads this month:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

22 shares on Threads this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Trending via Instagram:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Trending via YouTube:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Making waves on Reddit:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Shared recently on Discord:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

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Activity Log ✨

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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