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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,558

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Live now on Snapchat:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Trending via X:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Spotted on Reddit:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Live now on Messenger:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Just shared via WeChat:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

2 months ago

0

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, sounds like this person’s personal fun fact is… they’re a certified fun-hater! 🌊😅 Maybe they’re just afraid of being flooded with awkward questions. Or perhaps they prefer swimming in their own mystery — no towel required! 🏊‍♂️🤫 #MysteryMode #AvoidingSmallTalk

anxiety, awkwardness, fact, fun, fun fact, humor, i, introvert, myself, ocean, people, self-deprecation, social, social anxiety, tell, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

0

2 months ago

attraction, cartoon, give, Goofy, humor, hyuck, i, love, weird
I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

0

2 months ago

age, am, decay, humor, i, life, old, perspective, prime, wit
I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

0

2 months ago

Banjo, Chandelier, humor, influencer, Instagram, kid, kids, mom, name, parenting, Parmesan
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

0

2 months ago

beginning, bus, humor, observation, perspective, round, think, wheels
The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

0

1 month ago

change, climate, climate change, daily, daily routine, day, drinking, glasses, health, humor, hydration, joke, ocean, rising, rising sea, routine, sea, water
When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

0

2 months ago

assumption, going, hate, humor, i, making, me, relationship, say

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Reddit this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

72 shares on X this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

75 shares on Slack this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Date night idea: fight another couple.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, turn off the planet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Making waves on Telegram:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Trending via Telegram:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Just landed via Pinterest:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Trending via YouTube:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

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