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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Going viral on Messenger:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Going viral on Slack:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Seen just now on Threads:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Just landed via TikTok:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Spotted on Discord:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Trending via Telegram:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

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If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.
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Commentary:
Guess I’ll need to bring my juggling skills to the office! 🤹‍♂️📈😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

19 shares on X this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Making waves on Threads:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Live now on Pinterest:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Just shared via YouTube:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Just shared via Twitch:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

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