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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,047

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Making waves on YouTube:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Just shared via Telegram:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Just landed via Threads:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Spotted on Twitch:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Already practicing my 'Take me to your leader' speech! 🤖👽 #TeamAliens"

alien, aliens, am, comedy, defect, extraterrestrial, humor, i, invasion, sci-fi, side, sorry, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

0

2 months ago

babe, cleavage, crumbs, flirting, humor, joke, just, playful, relationship, saving
Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

0

2 months ago

bad, calamari, comparison, ever, experiment, first time, food, food experiment, humor, joke, life, life joke, marriage, maybe, next, time, try, trying, trying food, unexpected, unexpected comparison
You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

0

2 weeks ago

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel
I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

0

2 months ago

am, big, blasting, car, change, hate, humor, i, last, mood, morning, morning routine, music, night, person, personal, personal change, personality, routine, same, turn
I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

0

3 months ago

90s, 90s hip hop, citizen, folks, generation, heavy, heavy metal, hip, home, homes, hop, humor, i, kind, metal, music, nostalgia, old, old folks’ home, rap, senior, senior citizen, wait
Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

0

2 months ago

agree, another, battle, competition, disagreement, everything, guy, humor, just, loss, lost, rap, rap battle, said

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Threads this month:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Just landed via Instagram:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Trending via Messenger:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Making waves on YouTube:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Spotted on Twitch:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Trending via Slack:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨