Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,731

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Breaking via Discord:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Going viral on Discord:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Shared recently on X:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Breaking via Instagram:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Live now on X:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mind over matter, the ultimate life hack! 😎🧠✨

attitude, comeback, humor, i, matter, me, mind, over, remember, self-confidence, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

1 month ago
animal, casual, cat, everyday, hands, humor, hygiene, laundry, pet, sarcasm, sink, towel, washing
Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

1 month ago
activity, day, detox, digital, digital detox, friends, fun, fun activity, grass, gutted, health, mental, mental health, nature, offline, outdoor, outdoor activity, report, socializing, spending, touching, touching grass
Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

1 month ago
account, adulthood, adulting, budgeting, day, days, finance, financial, financial struggle, humor, later, money, money transfer, myself, personal, personal finance, relatable, save, savings, savings account, struggle, three, transfer, wild
Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

4 weeks ago
am, humor, i, interaction, laundry, lot, media, online, online interaction, post, posting, social, social media, timeline
Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

1 month ago
argument, avoid, communication, enough, face, function, humor, husband, i, marriage, mouth, relationship, shut, subtitle
I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

1 month ago
attendees, band, barenaked, Barenaked Lady, before, bet, concerts, disappointment, expectations, humor, i, lady, lot, music, pissed, popularity

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Just landed via Threads:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏