Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Just shared via Telegram:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Just landed via Slack:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Just shared via WeChat:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Going viral on Pinterest:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Spotted on Telegram:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Going viral on Telegram:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Clever and funny quote about temperature settings and lizards in a terrarium.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning a home into a sauna one degree at a time! 🦎☀️

AC, cold, cold preference, heat, humor, invite, keep, lizard, me, please, preference, temperature, terrarium

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Instagram this month:

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

31 shares on Discord this month:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

18 shares on Discord this month:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

33 shares on Discord this month:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

57 shares on X this month:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Live now on Messenger:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Just shared via TikTok:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Making waves on Slack:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Spotted on Twitch:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨