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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,965

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Live now on Threads:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Spotted on Slack:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Trending via Facebook:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Going viral on Instagram:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to hide my happiness behind my resting grump face then! 😄🙃

behavior, bragging, happiness, happy, humility, humor, keep, know, likes, sarcasm, self-control, social, social behavior, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

1 month ago

around, bed, break, daydreaming, humor, locket, longing, lunch, lunch break, neck, picture, procrastination, staring
Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

1 month ago

avocado, eating, ever, food, funny thought, humor, people, squeeze, squeezed, think, thought
I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

2 months ago

activity, cleaning, cool, dog, dog poop, fresh, i, moonwalk, poop, sh, visual
I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

4 months ago

again, communication, email, email etiquette, emails, etiquette, humor, i, know, let, life, me, office, office life, questions, sarcasm, stopped, work, work email
Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

1 month ago

age, aging, enlarge, humor, instructions, lifestyle, middle, middle age, pictures, take, technology, welcome
Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

2 months ago

absurdity, art, art history, artists, culture, history, humor, mad, ninja, pop, pop culture, renaissance, turtles

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Just shared via Twitch:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Trending via Telegram:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Making waves on WeChat:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

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Activity Log ✨

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

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If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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