Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Spotted on Discord:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Trending via Threads:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Trending via Threads:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Live now on Discord:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text about work and privacy, highlighting a playful struggle during tough times.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Awake and pretending to be productive. My bed is filing a missing person report. 🛌😂📋"

awake, emotional, humor, humorous, office, please, privacy, quarantine, respect, sarcasm, stress, times, trying, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Messenger this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

26 shares on Threads this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Trending via Discord:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Making waves on Discord:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Seen just now on X:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Live now on Reddit:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Trending via Slack:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨