Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Going viral on Reddit:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Trending via Slack:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Spotted on Threads:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Trending via Facebook:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Just shared via Facebook:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Spotted on Slack:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning frowns into comedy sketches in record time! 🎭😂

attitude, bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotions, fun, humor, making, mechanism, minutes, sad, sadness, self-deprecation, situation, three

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

0

2 months ago

area, date, dating, hot, hot single, humor, interaction, irony, loneliness, online, online dating, single, singles, social, social interaction, talk, want
Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

0

2 months ago

30, assistant, better, brushing, care, dental, dental care, dentist, humor, money, mouth, playing, rich, ships, sinking, sinking ships, staring, wealth
Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, behavior, dog, funny behavior, head, humor, i, just, leaf, moment, next, pet, relationship, relationship status, status, tried
Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

0

2 months ago

everyday, hell, humor, i, ID, Satan, tell, work
Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

0

5 months ago

cartoon, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, contrast, humor, kid, kids, maybe, music, nostalgia, reason, saw, violence
My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal antics, antics, bill, dog, financial, financial woes, humor, pet, pet humor, responsibility, sigh, woes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have a yearning disability.

61 shares on X this month:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Shared recently on Slack:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Making waves on Messenger:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Going viral on Instagram:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Freshly posted on X:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Just shared via Slack:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨