Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Just shared via Twitch:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Just landed via TikTok:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"That’s one small step for cats, one giant leap for feline-kind! 🐾🌕🐱"

animals, cat, cats, convinced, Earth, explosion, feet, humor, land, landing, moon, safely, safety, space, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

0

4 months ago

around, emotion, even, humor, joybaiting, lovebaiting, me, please, positivity, ragebaiting, try, wordplay
Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

0

3 months ago

actually, answering, answering phone, anxiety, call, Googling, habit, humor, modern, modern habit, number, numbers, phone, phone anxiety, phone number, procrastination, technology
I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

0

4 months ago

80s, dancing, humor, i, myself, nostalgia, reflection, self, solitude, talking
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, day, days, fatigue, humor, morning, needs, tired, today
No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

0

2 months ago

culture, frustration, humor, internet, internet culture, lived, matter, media, Reddit, screenshot, screenshots, situation, social, social media, someone, storytelling, update, upvote
“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

0

2 months ago

banter, girl, humor, identity, insult, just, monster, playful, playful banter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Slack this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

60 shares on Discord this month:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Seen just now on Twitch:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Shared recently on Slack:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Shared recently on Threads:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Seen just now on Discord:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Just landed via Telegram:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Making waves on Instagram:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨