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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Oh good. Another day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Making waves on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Spotted on YouTube:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Just shared via Telegram:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

1 month ago

Humorous text about feeling clueless but doing okay, playful and witty in tone.

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Commentary:
Navigating life with zero clues and maximum confidence 🤔😎 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt

attitude, clue, cluelessness, confidence, doing, good, humor, pretty, self-deprecating, someone

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

40 shares on X this month:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

14 shares on Threads this month:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

82 shares on Threads this month:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

56 shares on Discord this month:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Making waves on Instagram:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Going viral on Messenger:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Going viral on Discord:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Shared recently on X:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨