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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

“You’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Spotted on Twitch:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Making waves on Twitch:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Going viral on Discord:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Live now on Twitch:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about feeling clueless but doing okay, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating life with zero clues and maximum confidence 🤔😎 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt

attitude, clue, cluelessness, confidence, doing, good, humor, pretty, self-deprecating, someone

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31 shares on WeChat this month:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

80 shares on Slack this month:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

34 shares on X this month:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

25 shares on Discord this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

99 shares on Threads this month:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Spotted on Pinterest:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Shared recently on Slack:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Just shared via Messenger:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Making waves on Facebook:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Just shared via Twitch:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨