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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,923

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Just shared via Messenger:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating life with zero clues and maximum confidence 🤔😎 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt

attitude, clue, cluelessness, confidence, doing, good, humor, pretty, self-deprecating, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

0

4 weeks ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, boundary, communication, elephant, humor, maybe, personal, personal space, respect, should, space, want
Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

0

2 months ago

911, activity, calling, dancing, emergency, fine, fun, fun activity, humor, me, plea, stop
Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, just, mindset, problem, stress, worry, worrying, worship
It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

0

2 months ago

consequence, fashion, fit, fun, game, humor, jean, jeans, reality, weight
I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

0

2 months ago

conflict, humor, irony, love, peace, people, personality
It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

0

2 months ago

account, after, bank, bank account, checking, crime, desperation, financial, financial struggle, humor, i, irony, joke, life, life of crime, money, need, struggle, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

57 shares on Discord this month:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

15 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

34 shares on Threads this month:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

30 shares on Slack this month:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Trending via WhatsApp:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Live now on Pinterest:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Live now on Reddit:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Spotted on X:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Just landed via Discord:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Trending via Telegram:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Spotted on Snapchat:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨