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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Just landed via Pinterest:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Just shared via Facebook:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Seen just now on WeChat:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Making waves on Facebook:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Going viral on X:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Breaking via Twitch:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you need a "Mount Scream-ore" for some high-altitude stress relief! 🏔️😱🎢

emotional, emotional release, frustration, humor, i, life, literally, mountain, need, overstimulation, release, relief, scream, stress, stress relief, top

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

0

2 months ago

character, dislike, entertainment, hate, hour, humor, i, life, likable, likable character, movie, need, people, show, shows, sick, spend, spending, spending time, time, TV, TV Show, where
Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

0

2 months ago

asking, extraterrestrial, humor, i, joke, joke about transportation, me, once, rides, sci-fi, space, transportation, UFO
My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

0

2 months ago

being, day, elected, goal, humor, irony, me, office, political, prevent, self sabotage, thing
Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

0

2 months ago

adult, asking, aspiration, career, child, children, dream, grow, growth, humor, idea, want
“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

0

2 months ago

foot, hole, humor, i, sarcasm, shit, sock, witty
Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

0

2 months ago

being, feel, feelings, humor, i, life, me, perspective, self-doubt, someone, sometimes, sure, uncertainty, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

13 shares on Threads this month:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Trending via WeChat:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Making waves on Messenger:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Trending via TikTok:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Just landed via Messenger:

Having a job ruined my life.

Spotted on Facebook:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Spotted on Twitch:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨