Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Going viral on Reddit:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Just landed via Reddit:

My parents think they know me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you need a "Mount Scream-ore" for some high-altitude stress relief! 🏔️😱🎢

emotional, emotional release, frustration, humor, i, life, literally, mountain, need, overstimulation, release, relief, scream, stress, stress relief, top

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

0

6 months ago

20, anyone, car, comparison, confusion, driving, fly, headlights, hop, humor, i, just, knows, minutes, movie, movie comparison, rental, rental car, spaceship, spent, star, Star Wars, trying, wars
If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

0

2 months ago

commentary, experience, family, humor, hunger, irony, live, person, social, social commentary, want, wealthy, wealthy person
I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, forward, full, getting, hours, humor, looking, night, overthinking, procrastination, relaxation, sleep
For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

0

2 months ago

call, doctor, humor, i, joke, just, medical, medical profession, misunderstanding, oncologist, profession, thought, times
If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

0

2 months ago

Earth, flat, flat earth, Flat Earther, gravity, humor, joke, jump, people, perspective
Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

0

2 months ago

advice, another, communication, family, humor, life, parent, parents, problem, problems, telling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Slack this month:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Live now on Slack:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Breaking via Reddit:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Just shared via Twitch:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Shared recently on X:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Going viral on WeChat:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Breaking via X:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨