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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Just shared via Twitch:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Going viral on Threads:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Making waves on Messenger:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Going viral on YouTube:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Making waves on Instagram:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about obsessively adding extra tweets to surprise followers, humorous and witty.

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Commentary:
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behavior, communication, content, done, extra, extra content, humor, i, media, obsession, oh, online, online behavior, second, social, social media, thought, tweet, Tweets, unnecessary

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Reddit this month:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Just landed via Slack:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Going viral on X:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨