Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Making waves on Instagram:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Trending via TikTok:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Trending via Threads:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Just shared via Twitch:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Seen just now on TikTok:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Starting over at 27? Why not! It's the new trend—like upgrading your phone but with life decisions 📱🔄😂

age, beginning, change, decision, everything, good, know, leave, life, life change, love, new, new beginning, over, start, starting, starting over, uncertainty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

2 months ago

alone, commuting, great, humor, invention, me, public, public transportation, should, solitude, transportation, type, vehicle, where
If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

2 months ago

2, bad, bad gift, birthday, disappointment, ever, expectations, gambling, gift, going, humor, present, scratch, scratch ticket, ticket, wife, win, worst
I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

2 months ago

bad, bad news, broken, broken machine, cream, denial, denied, ever, humor, i, ice, ice cream, job, machine, McDonald’s, news, people, told, ugly, used, work
Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

5 months ago

everything, heroine, humor, midweek, novel, questioning, questions, reflection, stares, Wednesday, where, window
Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

2 months ago

abyss, comedy, contact, customer, customer service, dark, dark comedy, existential, humor, important, scream, service, thank, thank you
Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

2 months ago

before, concern, couple, funny moment, humor, just, making, moment, motorcycle, outside, realization, seconds, sounds, spent, stomach

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

42 shares on X this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

22 shares on X this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Going bananas on X:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Just landed via Facebook:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Spotted on YouTube:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Breaking via Telegram:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Seen just now on X:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨