Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2422 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,584

Funny Quotes Topics

15,255

Funny Quotes Images

12,584

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Reported on Messenger:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Spotted on Slack:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Spotted on Threads:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Seen just now on X:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yikes! Hope you remembered to save your progress! 🧠💻😂 #BrainBackup"

anyone, brain, brain surgery, ChatGPT, else, humor, irony, medical, middle, neurosurgeon, stress, surgery, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Just shared via YouTube:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Just shared via Telegram:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Reported on Twitch:

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Trending via X:

50 shades of single.

Spotted on X:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Spotted on Telegram:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Just landed via TikTok:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏