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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Spotted on Reddit:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Going viral on YouTube:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Spotted on Telegram:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Spotted on X:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting older: more "meh" energy, less "why" energy 😂🤷‍♂️✨

actually, aging, aging humor, aging joke, anything, apathy, care, cynicism, energy, figure, humor, joke, just, life, life perspective, older, perspective, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

0

1 month ago

absolutely, anything, communication, except, excuse, friends, friendship, honesty, humor, i, just, know, loyalty, message, need, procrastination, reply, texting
Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

0

2 months ago

ask, day, escape, home, humor, hurt, i, me, much, myself, object, office, pain, same, time, times, too
It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, blues, day, early, early anxiety, having, humor, Monday, Monday blues, motivation, never, next, procrastination, relatable, sad, sadness, tired, too, weekend, work
Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

0

2 months ago

algorithm, i, much, scrolling, snack
I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging process, avocado, comparison, feel, fine, food, hoping, humor, i, process, self-deprecation, sort, wine
I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

0

1 month ago

ant, cleaning, crumb, crumbs, discovery, earlier, forgot, humor, i, just, kitchen, moaning, pest, pleasure, surprise, sweep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Seen just now on Threads:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Shared recently on Telegram:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Live now on Telegram:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨