Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Spotted on Telegram:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Breaking via X:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Shared recently on X:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Having a job ruined my life.

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting older: more "meh" energy, less "why" energy 😂🤷‍♂️✨

actually, aging, aging humor, aging joke, anything, apathy, care, cynicism, energy, figure, humor, joke, just, life, life perspective, older, perspective, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

0

2 months ago

being, each other, hug, humor, interaction, just, man, men, months, okay, relationships, should, social, social interaction
It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

0

2 months ago

again, beverage, choice, choose, coffee, decision, holiday, humor, morning, mulled, mulled wine, time, wine
I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

0

2 months ago

aging, breaking, humor, i, knees, noise, prepared, someone, sound, spaghetti, stairs, time
When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

0

2 months ago

analogy, away, boat, columns, confusion, data, figure, humor, i, joke, just, math, row, rowing, rows, try, vs
Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

0

2 months ago

British, British food, culture, food, grateful, gratitude, gross, humor, independence, joke, taste
I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

0

5 months ago

1955, back, days, exist, existence, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, old, past, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

63 shares on Slack this month:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Seen just now on Slack:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Seen just now on Instagram:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Just shared via Messenger:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Just shared via YouTube:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Live now on Snapchat:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨