Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Freshly posted on X:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Going viral on Reddit:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to dodge house chores the next day! 🍷🤢🛌

alcohol, crazy, day, drinking, feel, hangover, health, humor, irony, next, poison, shit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

0

2 months ago

communication, concern, distraction, humor, joke, lion, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, office, productivity, Teams, workplace
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

0

2 months ago

app, diary, form, here, humor, humor quote, people, sarcasm, say, seeking, self-awareness, validation
Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, choice, confidence, decision, decisions, humor, independence, me, nothing, peer, peer pressure, pressure, rebellious, self-reliance, solo, solo choice
Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

0

2 months ago

attraction, bed, believe, desire, everyone, gender, humor, i, just, lot, noise, relationship, sexuality, short, short shorts, shorts, someone, wants
I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

0

2 months ago

exercise, halen, humor, i, just, lift, music, van, Van Halen, weights, wonder, workout, writing
Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, comedy, disinterest, ever, humor, math, me, moved, please, reluctance, speak, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

48 shares on Threads this month:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Just shared via YouTube:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Going viral on Instagram:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨