Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Live now on Snapchat:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Just landed via Reddit:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Just shared via Slack:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Going bananas on Slack:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Live now on Messenger:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your dentist appointment turns into a speed-run challenge 😬⏱️🦷

50, 6, care, dental, dental hygiene, flossing, got, humor, hygiene, last, minutes, months, oral, oral care, pressure, procrastination, time, time pressure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

0

2 months ago

animal, animals, conversation, humor, i, imagination, personality, quirky, reply, stable, talk, wait
Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

0

2 months ago

attraction, awkwardness, challenge, easy, flirt, flirting, humor, person
You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, man, relationship, self-awareness, situationship, texting
I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, anxious, caffeine, coffee, edge, feeling, humor, i, morning, morning routine, mug, relief, routine, stress, stress relief, take, think
This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

0

2 months ago

carrying, collaboration, dead, dead weight, economy, expense, expensive, here, hustler, leech, teamwork, together, too, weight, working
I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

0

2 months ago

comment, comments, expression, frustration, humor, i, reaction, throw, tomato, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Slack this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

83 shares on X this month:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

56 shares on Discord this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

26 shares on X this month:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Shared recently on X:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Seen just now on TikTok:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Making waves on Telegram:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Spotted on Reddit:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Making waves on Facebook:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Just shared via Pinterest:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨