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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Just landed via Messenger:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Just landed via Telegram:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Just shared via Twitch:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Trending via Discord:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Funny text highlighting food misconceptions with witty observations about healthy eating.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"From 'I'm starting the year healthy and strong!' to 'Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert' in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Going viral on Slack:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

Trending via Twitch:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

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