Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.