Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

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Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

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Relationship status: he escaped.

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We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

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I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

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There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

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Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.