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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has copied:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has bookmarked:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has downloaded:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has copied:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on TikTok:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Seen just now on Telegram:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Going bananas on X:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Making waves on Messenger:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming β€œBROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Spotted on Twitch:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

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Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.
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Commentary:
I’d let you in, but my imaginary friend insists on having the window seat! πŸ˜…πŸͺ‘πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

35 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,252

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has downloaded:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has shared:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via LinkedIn:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Trending via Discord:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Shared recently on X:

β€œYou should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Shared recently on X:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Trending via Threads:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Making waves on YouTube:

I gotta ask, what part of β€˜I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Making waves on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Spotted on TikTok:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. β€œLemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Just shared via Twitch:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

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