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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Going bananas on Twitch:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Making waves on Discord:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Going viral on Telegram:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Going viral on YouTube:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Spotted on WeChat:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
At least you won't be losing beauty sleep! 😴😂✨

confidence, crazy, humor, i, knowing, never, night, self-acceptance, sleep, ugly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

0

2 months ago

always, crazy, health, humor, mental, mental health, stay
The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

0

3 months ago

bad, bad news, eating, forgot, good, good news, humor, i, new, news, shirt, spaghetti, wear
Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

0

2 months ago

bar, built, delicate, food, fragility, humor, me, nature, Nature Valley, snack, valley, vulnerability
I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, aspiration, basketball, chance, chances, competition, good, hope, humor, i, making, NBA, scenario, slim, sports, weird, weird scenario
The void screams into me.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, existential, humor, irony, me, scream, screams, self-reflection, void
Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, enlarge, humor, instructions, lifestyle, middle, middle age, pictures, take, technology, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

49 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

15 shares on Discord this month:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Going viral on YouTube:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

The void screams into me.

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨