Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Going viral on YouTube:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Spotted on X:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Trending via Snapchat:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Trending via TikTok:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Didn't realize I can relax and take a sabbatical from typing back, budget depending 💰🤣⌛️

bother, communication, debt, humor, late, late reply, love, me, money, patience, relationship, reply, take, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

0

2 months ago

art, better, emotion, express, expression, grief, harmonica, humor, man, melancholy, music, pain, performance
So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

0

4 months ago

beauty, beauty pageant, Earth, every, humor, joke, miss, Miss Universe, pageant, space, universe, winner
Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, funny moment, humor, just, karaoke, moment, motionless, panther, performance, pink, Pink Panther, song, stage, standing, theme, theme song, time
Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, bro, crazy, girlfriend, humor, just, let, relationship
My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

0

2 months ago

children, degree, family, frequent, frequent visits, healthcare, humor, kids, medical, medical degree, nurse, parenting, visits
Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

0

2 months ago

camping, disappear, disappearing, fear, humor, inside, mind, never, sight, spider, surprise, tent, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

29 shares on Slack this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

94 shares on Slack this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Trending via Threads:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Spotted on Discord:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Just landed via Reddit:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨