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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Going bananas on Slack:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Going viral on Twitch:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Seen just now on Discord:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Spotted on Facebook:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Just landed via Discord:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Just shared via TikTok:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you upgrade your couch to a luxury suite with just one forgotten date! 🛋️➡️🛏️😅

bed, birthday, forgetfulness, forgetting, hack, humor, life, life hack, marriage, ordinary, prank, relationship, simply, sofa, sofa bed, turn, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

0

2 months ago

back, digital, digital footprint, embarrassment, footprint, God, humor, media, nostalgia, oh, online, online embarrassment, past, past posts, posts, privacy, share, social, social media, social media humor, somebody, something, sometimes, think, timeline
That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

0

2 months ago

again, apartment, chores, clean, cleaning, dirty, everything, frustration, later, moment, routine, year
Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

0

2 months ago

boundary, friendly, humor, i, interaction, just, mean, means, personality, rude, sarcasm, social, social interaction
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

0

2 months ago

brain, delete, female, female brain, gone, humor, internet, memory, never, never gone, psychology, something, works
So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

0

2 months ago

backwards, Evian, fortune, humor, i, little, paid, people, read, used, water, wonder
Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

0

2 months ago

born, cog, existential, forced, forest, frolicker, humor, irony, machine, nature, struggle, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

37 shares on Discord this month:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

92 shares on Threads this month:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Going viral on WeChat:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Shared recently on Threads:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Spotted on Facebook:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Just shared via WeChat:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Just landed via Telegram:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Spotted on Discord:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Trending via Twitch:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨