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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Making waves on Twitch:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Live now on WeChat:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Going viral on Reddit:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Just shared via WeChat:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Shared recently on Slack:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Just landed via Facebook:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

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Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.
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Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to train my dog to be a private detective! 🕵️‍♂️🐶📱

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

79 shares on TikTok this month:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

79 shares on Reddit this month:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not going is the new leaving early.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Cool times create cool guys.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Going viral on Snapchat:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Making waves on YouTube:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Just landed via Facebook:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Just shared via TikTok:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

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