Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.